In the wake of Valentine’s Day, love is in the air on campus, whether you spent the holiday on a first date, with a long-term partner or celebrating with your galentines. Flowers and chocolate may already be leaving store shelves, but the conversations about love linger a little longer. Depending on your circumstances, you might have been wondering if love really can blossom here at Vanderbilt.
If you need some reassurance that meaningful relationships can grow at Vanderbilt, look no further than alumni Colleen Guerry Gray (B.A. ’19) and Bretton Gray (B.A. ‘20), whose story began with a completely ordinary moment that turned into something neither of them expected.
It was September of 2017, and Colleen was leaving Kissam on her way to the gym before heading to Greek row for tailgates. Before beginning her day, she just so happened to stop at the benches to stretch. While there, she would be approached by a guy she had never met before, but little did she know she was meeting her future husband, Bretton Gray.
“I had my earbuds in; I didn’t hear the cute blonde guy over by the doors trying to get my attention. He asked me twice whether I was going to the gym or the frats — to be fair, I was dressed for both — but I couldn’t hear him,” Colleen said. “He decided to try one more time before giving up, and as fate would have it, the song ended on my phone, and I heard him, so I pulled out my earbuds and said, ‘I’m sorry, were you talking to me?’”
What could’ve easily been a brief, forgettable campus interaction instead became the beginning of a lifetime. From there, a conversation sparked a connection. In their first encounter they learned of their crossed paths as both had attended prep schools in Tennessee that regularly competed against one another. Colleen, being a cheerleader, and Bretton, being in the band of their respective high schools, meant they had spent many nights just across a football field from one another. Eventually, friends of Bretton arrived, and the two exchanged numbers before parting ways.
Later that afternoon, Colleen took the initiative to invite Bretton to join her at the tailgates. From there, the two spent the evening together, walked back to their dorms at Kissam and agreed to meet up for dinner that night. From that day on, their love would blossom on campus.
Two months into their relationship, she can recall the time she sat by her now husband at the piano in Kissam. It was there that he serenaded her by singing and playing a song he had written for her. In that very moment in the lobby of their dorm, Colleen was hit with a realization: she had fallen for Bretton. From then on, he began to play a big role in her life. She specifically recalls the time on her spring break, just four months later, when her family’s plane encountered troubling turbulence, and the first thought that came to her mind was how she longed for more time with Bretton.
As for Bretton, he knew from the very beginning that Colleen was special. However, 10 months into their relationship, he began to fully understand how deeply he felt for her. During summer break, he flew to Massachusetts to visit Colleen and her family. Upon arriving at the airport, he got off the plane and was flooded with loving gratitude to find Colleen awaiting his arrival.
“She was holding a big sign with a beautiful smile as she gleefully ran up to me and jumped into my arms. I knew then that if she could be that excited to see me, if I could spend my life with someone that joyful, I’d be forever grateful,” Bretton said.
Given that Colleen lived on the Warren side and Bretton lived on the Moore side, Kissam would become the meeting ground of Colleen and Bretton’s love. Not only did the couple meet outside the building, but they also continued to fall for one another during many shared moments there, and feelings grew into a future.
In August 2023, Bretton proposed to Colleen at the exact same spot outside Kissam. And just two days shy of the seven year anniversary of meeting in that very spot, the two shared their first look on their wedding day there and got married only a block away.
In addition to those shared moments at Kissam and many date nights at the Pub, the couple made sure to also maintain their growth as individuals while students at Vanderbilt. Colleen was honored to hold the positions of recruitment advisor and eventually president of the co-ed honor fraternity Phi Sigma Pi, while also exploring her love of fashion, which she would describe as “glam rock” as a form of self-expression and growth as a person.
Likewise, Bretton was able to grow as a person as he connected with peers and expanded upon his passion for exploration through the educators he encountered. “I gained a lot of understanding, both of myself and how to act in goodwill towards others, as I was shown examples from the many people I knew, especially my now-wife,” Bretton said.
When asked what advice the couple has for current Vanderbilt students navigating relationships, they both emphasized the importance of staying true to yourself to find someone who appreciates the real you, whether that is within your college years or not, and resisting the pressure to force relationships into timelines that feel unnatural. They also emphasized the importance of self-growth as a young person and being sure to fully embrace your college experience.
“Give yourself the opportunity to grow as people while you’re still young. Share those experiences that you’ll look back on when you’re older and treasure your hours together,” Bretton said.
The couple stressed that their relationship worked not because they centered their college experience around dating, but because they allowed college to shape them individually first. The relationship followed naturally.
For Colleen and Bretton, Vanderbilt is the foundation of their love as well as lifelong friendships that began on campus. Their story is a reminder that relationships here are not always dramatic or immediate. Sometimes, they begin with a paused song, a missed hello and one last attempt to start a conversation.
So, if you walk past strangers every day between classes or hesitate to say hi in your dorm lobby, consider this: the person sitting next to you in lecture, studying in the common room or in front of you in the Rand lunch line could someday be far more than a familiar face. College moves quickly, but certain moments and certain people have a way of staying.
