STIs are mostly transmitted when parts of our bodies come in contact with body fluids. Barriers help us limit that contact while still allowing us to engage in fun and safe activities. We all know about external condoms and why we should use them. They prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections at the same time when used correctly. Still, there are a lot of barrier devices out there that people don’t know about or don’t think are worth using, like dental dams and finger cots, which says a lot about what we think about oral and manual or digital sex. Many people believe that oral and digital sex are less intimate or less of a commitment than vaginal or anal sex. While that is a debate about values, ultimately a large risk is still being taken when you engage in these behaviors unprotected and without knowing your partner’s status. Dental dams and finger cots get a bad rap, but the more you know about them, the safer you can become.

Dental dams, or cunnilingus drapes as my friend likes to call them, are usually rectangular pieces of latex or polyurethane that limit contact between the mouth and the vulva or anus during oral sex. Because it completely covers the genital areas, dental dams are great at protecting against STIs like condoms when used properly. Still, dental dams can move out of place and accidental skin-to-skin contact or skin-to-fluid contact might occur so it is important to be careful and hold it with your hands while using it. Some might think that it limits the fun, but if you place a dental dam on your hand and blow it, you can still feel the sensation. Also, if lube is placed on the vagina or anus prior to the oral sex, that might help increase the sensation as well. Like condoms, dental dams also come in flavors, making it fun for all parties involved. If you don’t have a dental dam on hand or can’t find them in stores, you can always make one by cutting an unrolled condom lengthwise (those without spermicide) or by using a glove. Dental dams should not be reversed or reused and never should be flushed down the toilet just like condoms. Honestly, if you’d protect your genitals, why not protect your mouth?

Finger cots are basically like condoms for your fingers. They’re typically used if there are cuts or wounds on your fingers to prevent the spread of infections. While the risk of getting an STI from digital sex is much lower than that for oral, vaginal and anal sex, gloves and finger cots are still important to use and can make the experience all the more pleasurable. Vaginas and anuses are very sensitive and our fingers and nails can be rough or uncomfortable, especially when there are hangnails. Finger cots and gloves create a uniform surface that is smooth and won’t create any genital tears. They also can help you move from vagina to anus and vice versa by easily changing out the finger cots without the worry of having to wash hands in between. Finger cots can also cover small toys which is important when toys are being used between partners.

With a little practice and consistent use, barriers are usually easy to use! If you’re thinking about it too much, don’t feel experienced enough when using them or don’t know how to use them in ways that feel good just yet, they can seem pretty intimidating, but once we feel confident and capable using them, they become easy to learn to like. Keeping barrier methods around not only promotes safe and healthy sex, but protects our and our partner’s health, which is ultimately the most important.