I distinctly remember listening to mxmtoon’s “feelings are fatal” alone in my bedroom, the light of my laptop casting an artificial blue glow on my face as the full force of middle-school angst brought me to tears. Years later, revisiting her music before her opening show of the “liminal space tour,” I wondered if she had maintained that intimate magic composed of ukulele chords and bedroom indie. I found that mxmtoon had done a lot of growing up in the years since. While remaining grounded, she had stepped outside of the confining walls of a bedroom, prepared to tackle bigger things. Like the name of her November 2024 album, “liminal space,” suggests, mxmtoon sought to pull those suspended, unexplainable feelings — usually relegated to the backrooms — to the forefront.
After opener Luna Li impressed the audience with dreamy vocals and skillful mastery of the flute, electric guitar, guitar, keyboard and violin, mxmtoon took the stage. Opening with “dramatic escape,” she invited the audience to run away from the pressures of everyday life with her. Despite this desire to abandon her problems, she bravely confronted them head on throughout the rest of the night. Her confessional lyrics and daring honesty kept each moment intimate, like when she sang about her confusion with religion in “god?” and the feeling of falling apart in front of an indifferent observer in “elevator.” Even with these melancholic elements, her warm melodies underpinning the heartbreak created a quietly positive tone and a safe place to navigate tumultuous emotions.
However, mxmtoon was not one to be dragged down by seemingly heavy themes. Bouncing between somber and thrillingly upbeat songs, she infected the audience with her vivacity. She danced without restraint, punctuated each line with a theatrical air and bantered with her fans. One minute, she was putting on an exaggerated Nosferatu impression; the next, she was confessing that the bittersweet track “cliché ” was inspired by a 10-minute Minecraft love affair.
A fan shouted that her performance of “seasonal depression” was awesome.
“Phew, that’s a relief!” mxmtoon cheekily replied.
Behind her, door and window props revealed glimpses into liminal spaces — rainy midnight cityscapes, pastel suburbia and bright sunsets. These diverse landscapes seemed to mirror her broadening sonic and emotional landscape — but she was not afraid to direct her focus back toward home. Sitting in front of a screen depicting a childhood bedroom, mxmtoon brought Luna Li back on stage for “now’s not the time,” where she sang about stifling her emotions for the sake of filial duty. In “number one boy,” mxmtoon explored the possibility that her parents’ unequal treatment of her and her brother was due to their disappointment that she was not a son.
The balance mxmtoon striked between the lightness and darkness of life was embodied in “the situation,” where heavy lyrics on death and mortality are paired with a lively track.
“We get older, then we die,” she sang with mimicry of a comical beheading. “And there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Interspersed with songs from her newest album were familiar throwbacks to the hits that first presented mxmtoon to the world. The crowd erupted at the much anticipated fan-favorite “Prom Dress,” and they passionately shouted every lyric. As the first notes of my personal favorite, “fever dream,” began, the audience gasped in delight and the song’s airy, sweeping instrumentals filled the venue.
“I want something more than, more than restless mornings,” she declared, yearning for an otherworldly future that transcends the mundane. On her opening night of tour, it felt like she had found just that.
Before beginning her acoustic songs, mxmtoon’s band stepped off stage, the lights dimmed and a single spotlight descended. This was mxmtoon returning to her roots — nothing but a bleeding heart and a ukulele in hand. She brought back the song that had first caught my attention all those years ago. Although “feelings are fatal” needed no introduction to the enraptured audience, she shared that it was inspired by the fear that she would lose her community by coming out. She thanked her fans for showing up and showing her she would always have a place, especially because the world is “not the kindest place to be in right now.”
Years ago, I found solace in the comforting solitude of my bedroom. Yet, surrounded by strangers, each carrying their own stories and personal connection to the artist on stage, I could see first-hand that there was always a place for us.
(Abbie Bobeck)
For the final song, mxmtoon instructed the audience to throw their hands up and keep clapping to “dance (end of the world).” In the final two lines, she affirmed “If you’re lonely and you know it, then clap your hands and show it. You can dance, dance, dance with me.” Even if the world is falling apart, as long as we can keep dancing through it, everything will be alright.
