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SHEAR: Gen Z needs a lesson in etiquette

Social norms and rules frequently change, sometimes for the worse. Here is why I think Gen Z needs to alter their behavior.
A graphic depicting the word “Respect” written in large letters, surrounded by a dynamic colorful background. (Hustler Multimedia/Sam El-Shammaa)
A graphic depicting the word “Respect” written in large letters, surrounded by a dynamic colorful background. (Hustler Multimedia/Sam El-Shammaa)
Sam El-Shammaa

Generations always rebel against previous ones. Baby boomers defiantly listened to rock and roll and redefined traditional sexual relationships with the sexual revolution. Generation X embraced a cynical attitude best exemplified in the film “Breakfast Club” and a lazy “slacker” mentality that was a response to the excesses of the previous generation. Similarly, Millennials rejected the rat race mentality of workplace culture and emphasized a more flexible work-life balance while advocating for social justice causes. Now, I believe Gen Z wants to remove social courtesies. While this certainly sets the generation apart, this form of rebellion is extremely harmful to relationships and social skills.

Small interactions with our generation on campus perturb me. I find myself apologizing when I exit elevators to people who rudely do not wait for me to get off first. In my residence hall, people discard their putrid trash bags in the hallway rather than going to the dumpster. Once, I even threw away a half-eaten sausage that was lying on the floor of the elevator. My friends frequently share stories of bumping into people staring at their phones and treating them like it is their fault. Additionally, students often neglect even the most basic courtesies, such as saying “thank you” after someone has held a door open for them. On more than one occasion, people have even slipped through a slight door opening to avoid holding it for me — even while I carried boxes. After witnessing and hearing these acts, I fear there is an etiquette crisis among members of Gen Z.

Normally, I would write about a counter-argument that reveals a previously unexplored idea that etiquette is not declining among members of Gen Z. In this case, every major news outlet and academic study conclude that manners and etiquette are on the decline for varying reasons, which has alarming ramifications. All of my rude interactions on campus sets a frightening tone for adulthood.

A series of actions committed by Gen Z differ from previous generations. Ranging from disrespectful phone use, wearing sweatpants or pajamas in public and difficulty maintaining eye contact — these actions reveal a shift in behavior from the etiquette of the past.

It’s no surprise that the impact of phones and social media has been widely discussed. An article that TIME published in 2018 references a Common Sense study that finds 35% of teens’ favorite communication method is texting. Teenagers even feel more confident interacting via smartphones rather than face-to-face. Phones create a society where people’s social circles are tied to a device rather than what is right in front of them. More importantly, using phones prevents the development of critically important social skills like small talk. In my experience, before class starts, people opt to look at their phones rather than interact with strangers. If it is helpful, the classic “Where are you from and what’s your major?” has never led me astray; people appreciate when you simply take an interest in them. But we are so tied to our devices that most don’t bother. So, when my friends bump into someone on their phone, they are jolting them from a world full of entertainment and communication with friends. Visionary thinker Simon Sinek even said having your phone out on a table while talking to someone sends a subconscious message that they are less important than your mobile device. Phones are a critical part of the collapse in etiquette among Gen Z.

With the convenience of technology, other traditional forms of gratitude like handwritten thank-you notes have decreased. The practice of sending thank-you notes may be antiquated, but people still deserve to feel valued; thank-you notes symbolize one’s gratitude and intention to personally thank someone. Even worse, many members of Gen Z fail to express gratitude when receiving a gift, further reflecting a lack of empathy and respect for social courtesies. A generic text message with a “thank you” and emojis does not capture the same thoughtfulness. A family friend gifted me with a Martin’s BBQ gift card, so I sent a video of my first meal and how appreciative I was. While not a thank-you note, it showed a personal touch and made them feel valued. Acts like these demonstrate thoughtfulness and genuine appreciation, and I believe that this is a tradition that Gen Z needs to carry forward.

Another common complaint and something I witness frequently is students wearing sweatpants or pajamas to class. In my morning classes, it is not the act of just throwing on sweats or pajamas that is insulting, but the lack of showering. Some people arrive in class with a distinct body odor that lingers in the room for over 50 minutes. The stereotype applied to Gen Z is that they are sloppy because of these actions, but the truth is that they are not sleeping enough and find themselves scrambling to class. A Gallup study found that increased stress levels among younger men and women contributed to less sleep. Upon further investigation, this fashion choice makes sense in a stressful environment like college, but I would still argue it is disrespectful. Wearing pajamas to a college class is inappropriate, and one is unlikely to be promoted if they dress similarly in the workplace. If someone consistently neglects to put in the effort for themselves, it may suggest a broader detachment from society that extends to how they interact with and perceive the world.

All of these issues contribute to challenges in adulthood that lead to managers and bosses actively not hiring members of Gen Z. About 31% of hiring managers prefer older workers over Gen Z applicants. Employers notice the same issues I do: Gen Z candidates fail to dress appropriately, do not make good eye contact and make unreasonable salary demands. After they are hired, they often act entitled and are hard to manage. Patterns of behavior that begin in college continue into the workplace, and many hiring managers do not want to employ individuals they deem problematic. Vanderbilt students might secure lucrative jobs but struggle to hold on to their positions over time. Companies cannot avoid Gen Z workers forever and intentional training focused on etiquette might be a potential solution.

So, for those of you who have a vested interest in improving etiquette, here’s what I think you should do. Think of a professor on campus or someone else you truly respect. When you want to creep through the slight opening of a door, walk straight into an elevator with blind disregard for others or wear pajamas to class, think this: How would that person conduct themselves? Repeat this like a mantra throughout the day. For me, I think of a few different people and how disappointed they would be that I was not striving to be better than them. With the etiquette crisis, I do not have a solution. What I do know is that it is time to address it because it certainly does not seem to be going away anytime soon.

About the Contributors
Henry Shear
Henry Shear, Senior Staffer
Henry Shear (‘26) is from San Diego and is majoring in philosophy in the College of Arts and Science. When not writing for The Hustler, you can find him eating at Velvet Taco, watching tennis matches or spending time with friends. He can be reached at [email protected].  
Sam El-Shammaa
Sam El-Shammaa, Graphics Editor
Sam El-Shammaa (‘27) is majoring in cinema & media arts and communication studies in the College of Arts and Science. When they’re not making graphics, you can find them with their cat, Mochi, watching bad movies or wasting away in the CMA editing lab. You can contact them via email.
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