For many students, stepping foot on Vanderbilt’s campus is the first time they move away from the protecting yet limiting shelter of their parents’ roof. For me, it was an opportunity to prove to myself that I could indeed survive getting a flu shot or navigating a crowded airport without the hand-holding of my parents. I entered my first semester eager to meet new people and broaden my academic interests. But, a few weeks in, I found myself seeing the same handful of friends, overcome with the impending feeling of the future coming too fast and enduring a mundane routine that felt nothing like the thrilling four years I was promised. After working so hard and doing everything right in high school to conquer the mystifying college application process, it’s becoming all too common for me to lie awake in the middle of the night and think: ‘What am I even doing?’
Many students have experienced a version of this staggering feeling of being lost. College is almost an unreal space, where newly formed adults share space with hundreds of other students under minimal adult supervision, potentially transforming into contributing members of society. Although this is the expectation for college students, the reality is that being thrown into a brand-new environment with so much agency unlocked can be startling. Imposter syndrome, hardcore partying and jumping between friend groups are just some of the symptoms of the struggle to contend with the pressure to find yourself in college. Still, it doesn’t have to be this way, and with Vanderbilt’s support, the all-too-common identity crisis can become a generative, transitory moment for students to grow more attuned to themselves.
In an academic sense, the fear of failing for the high-achieving students of Vanderbilt means that confronting the question of what you want to do in life is especially terrifying, especially as students’ life projects continuously shift. Receiving that first grade dipping below a B or getting weeded out of a class can throw off a student’s entire life plan, simultaneously causing them to lose their confidence in themselves to succeed. Since many students graduated in the top 10% of their high school class, confidence in our academic success has often become deeply intertwined with a more profound sense of self-worth. Losing this academic validation challenges who we are when we’re not just pre-law or pre-med students, but something beyond a major or a career prospect.
What’s more, living on campus means we’re never really off-shift. Every building, including dorms, is a study space for students to pore over textbooks and essays for hours on end. With no separation between work and life, it can feel like we’re perpetually in “work mode.” The exception to this is party culture, creating a “work hard, play hard” ethos where students often swing from one extreme to the other. Without a stable middle ground, it’s even harder to cultivate a sense of self outside academics or partying. It’s easy to spend what little free time we have doomscrolling or catching up on sleep without discovering other avenues of interest.
This lack of meaningful leisure time affects students’ social lives as a tumultuous support system replaces the friends and family we leave behind. We often hear older generations talk about finding their lifelong friends and making unforgettable memories in college, setting up a radiant expectation of college life. Yet, many students experience drifting between friend groups, switching as often as every semester. This struggle to maintain friendships can make students question their likability and if, perhaps, they’re the common denominator for every friendship fallout.
Losing oneself is undoubtedly alarming, but that doesn’t mean we have to stay lost. The process of letting go of established aspects of yourself can reveal the genuine parts that transcend environmental influence. Removed from the safety of my hometown, the past few months have been terrifying at times to unpack who I am and who I want to be, but college is a wonderful opportunity to discover what I truly like about myself, the people around me and my academic career. Spending meaningful time with yourself and being comfortable with just the company of your own thoughts, whether walking around campus, running errands alone or simply taking a few minutes a day to self-reflect, can be a meaningful chance to find out who you are when nobody’s watching.
But, this point doesn’t mean socializing and building community isn’t important. Keeping an open mind to new people and ideas can reveal innovative ways of thinking and fresh perspectives that better inform our place in the world. The melting pot of college presents the opportune moment to unlearn implicit biases and become a more empathetic, informed citizen. When done right, losing yourself is the first step to finding yourself.
So what can Vanderbilt do to ensure more students get it right? To start, it can meet students where they are with more personalized academic pathways. In my first semester, I’ve found myself overwhelmed with the compulsion to lock down my academic pathway before it’s too late to meticulously plan out every semester to accommodate possible double majors and minors. The structure of current requirements may feel rigid at best and arbitrary at worst. For instance, transfer students from outside Vanderbilt must complete a writing class within their first semester on campus, which can be difficult given how quickly classes fill up during course registration. Despite having taken two writing courses this semester, I’m still required to take a First Year Writing Seminar in my second semester to avoid academic probation. I’m a huge fan of writing, but my course schedule is already burdened by the many AXLE classes I have to take as part of the College of Arts and Sciences, although the college is notably shifting to a new CORE curriculum which promises more course flexibility.
It’s no wonder that many gravitate toward colleges like Peabody, which is more accommodating with requirements. For example, Peabody’s Human and Organizational Development is one of the most popular majors at Vanderbilt and Psychology majors may feel inclined to migrate to the less demanding Cognitive Studies major. When given the choice, it’s clear that students yearn to break away from a one-size-fits-all attitude so they can be recognized as unique individuals embarking on their personal path. As it exists now, it’s simply more feasible to stick with a college plan created in a student’s first year, even if it no longer aligns with their evolving identity. On the other hand, taking classes to explore curiosities rather than just meet expectations alleviates the pressure to have it all figured out by sophomore year. With academic freedom, students have agency over their academic growth, subsequently opening time to develop their social and personal lives.
Furthermore, applications for honor programs in different colleges are typically only open for first-years during their fall semester. This rule means that those who transfer between colleges and from colleges outside of Vanderbilt don’t have the opportunity to participate in honor programs. These programs are designed to identify the most promising scholars as if indicating that transitioning to another college makes a student less promising because they did not figure out their life trajectory at the age of 18. With nearly a third of students in the class of 2023 having identified as transfer students, increased flexibility regarding opportunities like the Honors Program could ease the transition between academic tracts without limiting possibilities.
Moreover, Vanderbilt can do more to set up first-years for success. Placing first-years in their own campus on the Ingram Commons can feel isolating because first-years are physically separated from events and support facilities. Resources like the Student Health Center, Center for Student Wellbeing and identity-focused hubs are less accessible to the students who may need them the most. Vanderbilt can seek to amend this gap by dedicating more space in the Commons Center to student wellness and counseling services. For example, hosting a Student Involvement Fair on Commons tailored to first-years would incentivize higher attendance and active participation in extracurriculars. While the annual Student Involvement Fair for all grades is certainly valuable, its location — a 20-minute walk away at the Recreation and Wellness Center — may intimidate first-years already struggling to navigate a new campus during the busy start of the school year.
Furthermore, weekly study breaks in each house, although helpful for promoting house unity, may restrict the variety of people students socialize with and be less beneficial for smaller houses. Vanderbilt can remedy the disparity between house sizes and encourage community building by hosting joint events between dorms, such as taking advantage of the spatial groupings of Common dorms to organize regularly scheduled activities in the buildings’ shared plazas.
Beyond first-years, Vanderbilt can provide more spaces for students to spend time together and build connections by unlocking campus buildings, many of which lock after 6 p.m. Currently, we have minimal options to socialize with others once classes end. When going off-campus can be dangerous or too expensive, our limited remaining options include dorms, which may be too intimate for casual friendships, or dining halls, which have limited seating options during rush hours. With some adjustments, Vanderbilt can encourage students to enjoy a steadier work-life balance, creating space to forge new friendships that are not only tied to studying or partying.
Ultimately, college years are characterized by uncertainty and change, threatening our preconceived notions of ourselves. Successfully resolving an identity crisis through transformation is essential for young, burgeoning minds to grow. In this critical stage, Vanderbilt has the power to ensure that its students don’t just survive day after day — but actively thrive. Just as I hope for institutional growth, I also strive to take more accountability for my personal growth. Now that I’m starting my second semester, I’m taking the time to talk to new people, explore unfamiliar classes and seize every opportunity so I can inject that much-needed change into my life. Change will never stop being scary, but it will also never stop being necessary. Embrace the identity crisis.
